Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

Yesterday's revelation was that my duck is actually a bit thick!

Thankfully the duck no longer tells me that I'm fat and unattractive, but he does from time to time try to encourage me to be lazy under the pretence of being good to myself.

For example he tells me:
1. It's ok not to go for a run tonight, after all you're tired. Go on, put your feet up instead.
2. Go on, you can have a big plate of dinner - it's been a hard day. You deserve it.
3. Don't do the ironing today, it'll keep. You deserve to put your feet up.

However, I've discovered that he's actually quite easy to trick. So I reply:
1. Well I'll go out, but if I start running and really don't feel like it, I won't beat myself up if I stop.
2. What I'll do is serve a small portion, but I can have more once i'm finished that.
3. I'll iron a few items and then put my feet up

Of course, I know that once I've started to do something I'm unlikely to give up half way so the run gets completed and the ironing gets done, and I've discovered that once the small portion is eaten it's rare that I actually want more.

Has anyone else got a stupid duck?

Last night, after getting home from walking the dog I had a real niggle in my head that I wanted and Indian takeaway for dinner. It's very rare for me to get these kind of cravings (especially these days) and I know myself well enough to realise that if I don't give in, the craving doesn't go away but just grows and grows until eventually I give in and go completely overboard. Besides I had a stack of things to do last night, so decided 'what the hell'.

I ordered a Chicken Pathia, Nan Bread and Mushroom Bhaji. (I actually really only ordered the Mushroom Bhaji to make the order up to the minimum value for delivery). However there was a bit of a delay with my order and so they also gave me a portion of onion bhaji and a pappadom.

Well, pre-pctv days, I'd have hoovered up the lot. I'd have been stuffed full, and probably wouldn't have slept at all well.

However what actually happened was:
The chicken pathia wasn't actually as nice as i'd hoped, so I ate less than half of it (I'd have eaten it previously, whether it was nice or not)
I ate the poppadom
I ate about a third of the nan
I ate half each of the mushroom and onion bhajis.

Apart from the pathia, I enjoyed every bite and felt really nice and full afterwards, but not stuffed. The rest of the pathia went in the bin, but there's mushroom and onion bhajis and nan plus sauces in the fridge to be had for lunch with a nice big salad.

I'm really proud of myself, especially as it wasn't a difficult decision to make. I wasn't even tempted to eat the lot.

Hope you're all having a good day.
Bx

What another beautiful day....it really does lift the spirits, doesn't it?

Last night I went for a run. As I'm running a bit further now I've stopped running the paths in the park as it was becoming really boring and worked out a circuit around the streets. After the first couple of minutes, the dog trotted nicely alongside me, which was fantastic and he seemed to really enjoy it too. I ran a full 5K circuit for the first time....in just a tad under 35 minutes so was hugely proud of myself, even though the last 1K was a bit of a struggle.

Really enjoyed running around the roads, and it seemed to help my pace too. Perhaps it's because there's more distraction, but it made me think about how wonderful it will be to go out running once the nights are light and the weather really starts to get better. I'm so looking forward to being a runner this summer!

Foodwise, nothing to report really - ate when I was hungry and didn't over-eat. Had a couple of squares of dark chocolate after dinner and that was enough.

Baking a big fat carrot cake tonight for the guys in the office - it's my b'day at the end of the week and the tradition is to bring in cakes. I'm taking Friday off and am busy wednesday so will make it tonight instead. Of course it'll only last 5 minutes with the gannets in our office so at least I won't be tempted to have more than a small piece.

Hope everyone is having a lovely day and enjoying the sunshine.
Bx

Well I've completed another cyle of 21 days and feel as if it has really done what I hoped - and that is help me to regain focus.

Catching up on days 19, 20 and 21 over the weekend I was struck again by the question 'are you really ready to change for good?'. In the past I have found that question a little troubling as the answer has not always been what I expected or hoped - a categorical YES. This time round, however, it made me smile and my answer was that I was already well on the way.

I'm back to eating for health and vitality 95% of the time. I include indulgences as they're what stops me from feeling 'deprived' or 'on a diet'. I enjoy my food, eating slowly (although I still haven't mastered eating without distraction) and for the most part eat only when hungry. Plus I'm more active than I've been in a long time.

In the past, when I've been very active I've spent a lot of time in the gym and have eventually found it unsustainable. This time, though, it feels different - the activity is part of my life, part of who I am. I walk twice a day with my dog, I run three times a week (also with my dog) and I do a short yoga routine 3-5 times a week. I feel fit, strong and healthy and the scales have very gradually started to drop again. Ok, so I'm delighted that those pesky little numbers are getting lower, but even so, I'm way past focussing on weightloss and there's no way I would let that daft piece of metal and plastic affect how I live my life.

So.....I'm back on track, continuing to become slimmer, fitter and healthier. I'm going to head back to step 4 in fantastic spirits, knowing that the 21 day cycle is here to help me refocus whenever I need it. I'm planning to keep up blogging as much as possible too, as the support of you guys is always fantastic.

Hope you're all having a great day.
Bx

Last night I completed my walk/run programme and managed to run for 30 minutes without stopping. Ok, so my pace is very very slow, and it took me 15 weeks to complete the 8 week programme (5 weeks off for snow and ice and then repeated the two weeks I'd completed before the layoff).....but I started out hardly being able to run for 1 minute and now I can do 30.

Next step is to gradually increase the time/distance. I think by 5 minutes each week. That way I should easily be able to run for an hour but the time the 10K comes around in early May.

I'm so proud of myself....and am really enjoying the feeling of running outdoors, the achievement and the extra energy it is giving me.

Foodwise, everything seems to have settled down again and I've settled back into my old routine of eating (reasonably) slowly, eating what I want but keeping an eye on portion sizes and eating about 90% healthy food. I'm feeling very relaxed about everything again, which is a great feeling.

Wooohoooo.....it just goes to prove what we're all capable of achieving with the help of this fantastic programme, and each other's support.

Bx

Hi Petettes,

Unfortunately my improvements in sleep patterns were interrupted last night by inconsiderate neighbours blaring music at stupid o' clock this morning and then by random people yelling in the street. Oh the joys of city living! Still, despite this, the quality of sleep I had was obviously good as I didn't feel at all bad this morning.

Went for a run first thing - for the first time ever didn't quite finish my 'run' session (although it was a big one 2 x 20 mins)...just ran out of steam with 4 minutes to go. The moral of the story for me here is that a small banana and a coffee isn't enough to run on. Still pleased with what I did though....and certainly better than staying in bed with a second coffee!

This afternoon spent a couple of hours on the beach with the dog...so now I'm suitably pooped and looking forward to relaxing my aching muscles in a bath (I'm not usually a bath person but think I really need it tonight).

So, as far as day 13 and exercise goes - think I've more than kept up my end of the bargain today ;-) Energy levels are really improving and these days I really can't imagine not being active. Really want to step up the yoga practice though, as I've really slipped with this and know it will help build muscle and keep muscles supple.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Bx

I'm really loving revisiting the 21 days this time around because it is reminding me how far I've come in a little under a year. In the day 12 video, Pete talks about living foods and anti-nutrients and I nodded my head in agreement - these days I find myself choosing the nutrient filled option almost all of the time, I literally won't buy anything processed or with a long list of ingredients. I much prefer to cook my food from scratch where I know exactly what is in it - and my bookshelves are now groaning under the weight of all of the new cookery books I've bought. I eat better quality food than ever before, have discovered a love of cooking and have never enjoyed eating so much. I eat cheese, cream, butter, chocolate etc - all of the foods I would have previously considered 'bad', but I also eat masses of fresh vegetables and fruit as well as good fats. I suppose the big difference - as well as the quality of what I eat - is the quantity. I just don't eat as much as I used to and, as I mentioned in yesterday's blog, I no longer feel as if what and how much I eat is dictated by my emotions. It truly is a wonderful feeling.

On a completely separate note, I think I've finally found something to resolve my sleep problems - it has been improving for the last week and last night I had seven and a half hours solid sleep and actually felt rested when I awoke. If this will only continue, then I'll soon be bursting with energy.

Wooohoooo.....feeling fantastic today. It's Friday too so almost the weekend, and the sun is shining!! Can it get much better?

Hope everyone is having a great day.
Bx

Today Ive been revisiting day 11 - and asking myself if I like it enough to wear it.

As I feel as if I've turned the corner and things are now back on track, today's video reaffirmed what I believe to be one of the keys to why this programme has had such a profound effect on my relationship on food. Whilst I don't as a matter of course ask myself if I like it enough to wear it, nor point to a part of my body and cry 'Eeeuuuurrrrggghhhhh', I do tend to stop and listen to my body before I eat these days. I think about what it is that my body wants - does it want something hot, cold, sweet, savoury, crispy, crunchy, soft etc. And the really surprising thing is that 9 times out of 10 the result is that my body is asking for something healthy. Many times I've thought I'd like something unhealthy, but when I've stopped and asked my body I've ended up eating something lovely and fresh and full of vitamins/minerals. For me, this is a huge result and has meant that I'm no longer ruled by my emotions when it comes down to deciding what I want to eat, or how I will feel afterwards.

20 minute run last night and it felt great. I've 2 x 20 with a 1 min walk in between to do on Saturday morning and then on Monday it'll be the big 30 minute run and the culmination of the run/walk programme. I'm so proud of myself for having achieved this and now really feel as if the 10K in May is achievable.

Although the scales are still telling me that I've gained weight, my clothes are now begging to differ. Whilst I don't think I'm going to make my goal of being size 12 by my birthday (only just over 2 weeks to go), the size 14 jeans that I bought just before Christmas are now beginning to look rather saggy and baggy round the hips and thighs. Perhaps I'll get the old size 12s out of mothballs and give them a try...just to see how far I've to go and to give me something to aim towards.

It feels fantastic to be back on track. Hope everyone is having a great day.
Bx

Hi all,

Life is threatening to get in the way of the programme again, but I'm starting to get back in the zone so not going to let it. As a result I'm going to take a little bit of time to blog and catch up on your blogs this evening....I never usually do this in the evenings as I spend all day in front of a computer screen but needs must.

I'm still concentrating on eating slowly and doing ok with this.

I think that deciding to redo the 21 days has just helped to get my head together. I'm staying active and am once again finding that I'm not really thinking about food much - just eating regular meals (once more keeping an eye on portion sizes) and not stressing about what I eat. That's how I was before things started slipping so am feeling happy with this.

Only 2 more walk/run sessions before I hit the big 30 minute run. Last night was 18 mins running, 2 minutes walking x 2. I'm really proud of myself for doing this and am really feeling the benefit fitness and energy-wise.

My hormones still haven't settled and my weight is all over the place. The scales are still telling me that I'm 5-7lbs heavier than before Christmas, but I don't feel it at the moment, and my clothes aren't tighter so I'm not going to worry about it. If I keep the running going and eating healthily in reasonable portions, the weight will go down. And besides, it's been a long time since losing weight has been the focus - it's about feeling full of health and vitality....and I'm really getting there.

Hope everyone has had a great day. Pancake anyone?

Bx

Yep...I'm giving myself a pat on the back for my achievements to date.

Ok I've been going through a bit of a downturn recently, but I've actually achieved a huge amount:

1. I no longer have a negative relationship with food. I sometimes don't make the best choices, but I recognise them as exactly that - choices. There's no such thing as good or bad food and it's purpose is to help me achieve my goal through providing energy, good health and vitality.
2. I move my body. I wasn't exactly a couch potato before I started, but these days I move such a lot. My dog gets so many walks it's a wonder his paws haven't worn away, I'm doing regular yoga and have even started running, which I'm loving. Energy levels have improved....if only I could get my sleeping patterns sorted I'm sure I'd be bursting with energy.
3....and this is perhaps the most profound of the changes I've made. I've learned to be gentle with myself. I no longer subscribe to the 'all or nothing' principle. Baby steps are wonderful and they soon add up to great big steps. Most importantly I don't have to be perfect at everything. As long as I try, it's ok to sometimes not do it all perfectly....I've tried, I recognise why I haven't succeeded, I've learned a lesson and will do better next time.

Those are my 3 major achievements, but there are many many 'baby achievements' for which I deserve a pat on the back too....including recognising that I was on a bit of a slippery slope and so deciding to focus once more.

Really enjoyed last night's superfan session - great to see some of you. I had just been for a run and had showered and changed into pj's so was too embarrassed to show myself but will next time. I don't feel that I've been a good superfan recently but I'm back in the groove now and loving every second.

Hope everyone has a fantastic day.
Bx

Ok, today I WILL eat slowly. I've always had a problem eating mindfully and this is probably the key once again. Although I'm not exactly bolting my food down like I used to, I think I'm eating again without really being aware of what I'm doing. So concentrating on what I'm doing and putting down my cutlery is the order of the day.

The last couple of days I've deliberately served myself up a smaller portion at dinner. I have a bit of a psychological block when it comes to portion control as the rebel in me starts to feel deprived and then wants to overeat, and so whilst serving smaller portions I've told myself that I can go back for more if I really want to. Of course it will come as no surprise that I've felt satisfied after eating the smaller portions and haven't gone back for more. It hasn't been a surprise to me either, as this is exactly what happened previously - it's just that portion sizes have recently started creeping upwards again.

I also discovered this morning that I've dropped a couple of the 7lbs I've put on in the last couple of months. This is likely down to running and hopefully my hormones are beginning to settle a little (fingers crossed) - but it has certainly made me feel better about myself. I suppose I was a bit worried that it wasn't going to stop at 7lbs and all the work of the last 11 months would be undone.

Anyway with all of the above and a much better sleep last night (woke at 3am but went back to sleep fairly quickly), and the sun shining, I'm feeling much better about everything today. Will run this evening to keep the momentum going - am enjoying it so much and can't believe that I'm actually going to run 30 minutes this evening (albeit in 2 lots of 15 with a 2 min walk in between).

I guess I'm learning that my mind is the most important thing in this process and how I manage it. I've recognised that I need to give myself permission to fail in order to stop myself from feeling deprived and pressured....and then the rebel in me will do exactly the opposite. This has started to make perfect sense to me as I've spent my entire life being really hard on myself and expecting myself to be perfect at everything, giving myself permission not to be perfect is rather liberating.

Oh dear, another novel from me...so better go get on. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Bx

What tool did I use yesterday - eating slowly
What did and didn't work - hmmm, it didn't work brilliantly as I kept forgetting. I certainly know that I eat miles more slowly than I did when I started this programme but I'm eating faster than I was a few months ago.
I'm going to stick to the single tool of eating slowly for now, but today's challenge is to really focus and keep reminding myself.

I'm sleeping badly just now which really doesn't help - waking up at 2 or 3 am-ish and taking a good 2 or 3 hours to get back to sleep. I wake up and then my brain starts whizzing....so if anyone has any good ideas for getting back to sleep once awake I'd be grateful to hear them. No problem getting to sleep, but sleeping through is the issue.

On the plus side, I managed my run last night and didn't find it as hard as I thought I would. 12 mins running, 1 min walking x 2. My nike+ pod was goosed so unfortunately didn't get any pace, distance or calorie info but I still did it and actually felt I was running a bit faster than normal. Just 6 sessions/2 weeks to go and I'll be running 30 minutes constantly. Whopeee...who'd have thought it. And what's more I'm really enjoying it. There's no doubt too that I feel so much better for it - I went for a big walk with the dog on Sunday and there's a big hill at the end that I always used to struggle up a bit, but on Sunday I romped it with no trouble at all. Plus I think it's the running that is giving me the energy to get through the day whilst I'm not sleeping so well.

So, whilst my eating patterns aren't quite what they could be, there are quite a few tools that have become very much ingrained......certainly with all of the walking I do, my yoga and now running, nobody could accuse me of leading a sedentary lifestyle. Yippeee!

Haha, as usual a blog where I started off feeling I didn't really have much to say has turned into a novel. Hope everyone is well today....the sun is even trying to shine here.

Take care and have fun all you lovely Petettes.
Bx

Hi guys..
...as I say above, sorry I've not been around lately. I hope everyone is doing well and keeping focussed. Unlike me. Unfortunately I seem to have lost a bit of focussed and my mojo appears to have temporarily disappeared.

I've been having some hormonal issues and have gained a bit of weight. They've also left me feeling a bit 'yukky' and permanently pre-menstrual which isn't a whole load of fun. Thinking about it, this has spiralled a wee bit too so that I've been craving more carb-rich food, and have even over-eated when not hungry on a few occasions. I can feel that the urge to comfort eat - which had disappeared for so long - is slowly creeping back. Generally I just feel tired, run down and pretty blue.

So, it's time to take the bull by the horns and stop the rot! Ok, so there's not a huge amount I can do about the weight gain until the hormonal issues settle down, but I can stop it from getting worse. I can think about how wonderful I felt before Christmas and recreate both those feelings and the conditions that helped me to feel like that.

I'm starting the 21 days again today - and plan to see it through this time. I'm going to do everything I can to find the time to blog and catch up on your blogs - as they do help me motivationally. And I'm going to start listening to the R&T track again - which I haven't done for ages.

On the plus side, I started running again when the snow cleared and am still enjoying it. Despite 5 weeks of not running, I only went back 2 weeks on my programme so have now caught back up. It's starting to get tough (I'm up to 12 mins running 1 min walking x 2) but the sense of achievement is great and in 2 weeks time I should be able to run 30 minutes solidly. The next goal then is a 10K in early May which I'm planning to do with some colleagues from work and raise some money for Maggies Centres.

So...I'm off to catch up on all of your blogs, have a lovely curred root vegetable soup ready for lunch and a run planned tonight. Not so bad really...sure I'll find my mojo again soon. In the meantime, if anyone find it round their way, could they please send it back here ;-)

Take care everyone
Bx

Hi everyone...well I've decided to join you all back at day 1 today as I could do with the extra support.

After a few months at stage 4, I decided to do another 21 day cycle just to refocus on a couple of the tools, however I haven't been too well the last few days and so progress has somewhat stalled and I'm conscious that, although I'm still eating slowly, portion sizes are still creeping up a little - and I need to put a stop to that if I'm to achieve my goal of getting into my beloved size 12 jeans by my birthday in March.

The good news is that my small size 14s - which I couldn't get near me when I started this programme back in March 2009 - now fasten up comfortably, although there's rather more muffin top in evidence than I'd like...but all of my jeans are now 14s, and I've shopped myself silly in the sales for new clotehse - which were badly needed - so I'm on the right track.

Finally the snow has melted, so I should be able to get started running again. However I had a tumble on the ice on Saturday and have bruised my lower back. I did a small experiment this morning, running around in the park with the dog to see if I could run without pain in the hope that I could restart with a run this evening - but unfortunately not - it's still quite sore so I guess I need to give it a few more days. I'm recovered enough to do some yoga tonight though I reckon, so that will have to do for now.

Hope everyone is having a good day
Bx

Feeling a bit blue today - I have a few things going on just now and they're really playing on my mind today. It's probably a lot to do with being back at work and getting back into routine - I'm not someone who likes routine much and so when I've been out of it for a while, going back always feels very mundane, as if there's not much variety or interest in everyday life which can make me feel al ittle glum for a while and make other problems seem bigger.

So today I shall concentrate on being gentle with myself and not beating myself up about things. I'm going to try to relax and not fixate and over-think situations that aren't to my liking. I will chill and remind myself that I don't need to be inc ontrol of every aspect of life - indeed there are some things over which I don't have any control, so the sooner I accept it, the better I'll feel.

Pete's wonderful 'You Are Beautiful' videa popped into my inbox at just the right moment and really reminded me that I am, and life is, beautiful. Sometimes things happen at just the right second don't they?

Hope everyone is having a good day and enjoying the snow. We seem to have escaped it here overnight although there's still a weather warning in force so I'm not sure if there's more still to come.

Bx