Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

Hi Everyone

It's been a long time................too long! I have fell off the wagon in a big way over the past couple of months but now it is time to get my act together. Even though I haven't blogged I have been reading your journals and posting the odd comment. I have been greatly inspired by some of you and while I don't want to name anyone in particular, I think the following deserve a special mention - suefromcoast, Ash, Purple Diva, and Mandie.
Chocolate has re-appeared into my life again and that is not a good thing. Yesterday I bought several bars of chocolate and by last night I had eaten ALL of them!! I now need to go and replace these before the kids notice them missing. What an awful way to live. I hate all the secrecy involved with my eating issues. I woke up this morning feeling sick, bloated and lethargic so once again I need to cut chocolate completely from my diet. I have decided to start Day 1 today, which is a first for me as I usually wait until a Monday! At the moment I am feeling quite lost but reading the inspirational blogs here give me the strength to begin again.
I also need to start exercising again but with all the snow around at the moment it has been impossible to get out walking.
Sorry for going on a bit today. Hope you all have a great weekend. xox

Just wanted to give you a quick update on how I have been doing. Since I last blogged I have hit rock bottom but now I am doing better than ever. I've had a busy couple of months running around after everyone and neglecting myself. My father-in-law hasn't been too well so hubs is spending alot of time with him. I had an inspection at work (which I was so nervous about) but it went really well. Two weeks ago on Saturday, I ate chocolate all day. The the following days hubs confronted me and asked me was my bulimia back. Then I said it was and that it had never went really away. We had a really good chat and he promised to give me all the support that I needed. I decided then that I would go back to counselling and I've also had a session of hypnotherapy (which incidently is so much like Pete's Relaxation and Transformation!) I also have completely cut out sugar and chocolate as I felt these triggered bingeing. I have not binged or purged in 11 days which is fantastic!! I feel so much better. I am eating three good meals per day -all natural foods and stopping when full, I am drinking my 2 litres of water per day, I am being as active as possible. I am trying not to think too much about Christmas at the moment and taking one day at a time. Christmas can be a difficult as there is so much food around. I hope this blog gives some hope to those who maybe are struggling at the moment. I struggled for a long time but now I can see no reason why I cannot continue living my life like this.
Big hugs to you all xoxo
Tina

I have had three good days. I know its only three days but I am taking baby steps! They have been busy but I have managed to stick with the programme. This morning I was thinking what success on this programme means to me. A successful day is one where I drink my water, eat natural foods, do some exercise and try a little relaxation if possible. It is not about a number on the scales anymore. It is not about starving myself one minute and bingeing the next. It is not about trying to maintain an unrealistic low weight. I feel I am in a much better place than I was 2 weeks ago. I have tried to 'chill out' a little and to stop worrying about things that I have no control over. I am still prepared for wobbles but I know that I can get back on track again.Hope you all have a good day and enjoy the sunshine if you can!

I want to let you all know that I won't be blogging for a while. I have a lot on my plate at the moment as you know from my blog last week. Now that the kids are back at school and everyone is back to a routine, I need to get my self sorted. Also on Thursday I was informed that our Professional Body at work are carrying out an inspection of our business in the next few weeks. This is the last thing that I needed! Even though I know that everything should be fine, being the perfectionist that I am, I want to double check everything. However I shall be keeping up to date with you all. I need some time now to clear my head. Once again I want to thank you all again for your support last week. It is so very much appreciated. Will be thinking of you all. xox

I have been on the programme since January and I feel now is the time to come clean. The reason I decided to join the programme was not to lose weight but to try and overcome the eating disorder bulimia, which I have had for the past 15 years. As this is an open site I don't want to go into alot of detail about my life other than to say I was brought up in a loving home but when I was 16 my beloved dad died from cancer and my mum was left a widow with 4 children, aged between 7 & 16. It was not until a few years later that I developed the eating disorder. I'm not sure what caused it though I do remember an ex-boyfriend making a comment about my weight. He was a control freak so thankfully I managed to ditch him!
I have some episodes of remission like when I was pregnant with my two children but for the past 5 years it has been pretty constant. I did confide in my husband at that time and I had CBT but it just didn't work for me even though he thinks it did. He has no idea that I am still suffering from it. In fact no-one knows. That is why I am confiding in you - my on-line family,
When I am following this programme properly I find that I do not throw up. Though so far, I have only managed to follow the programme for about 2 weeks without a binge. The bingeing can last for up to a week, then I get back on track again and follow the programme again for another couple of weeks until something else thows me off track again. I feel now that I am at rock bottom and NEED and WANT to turn my life around. I know that it can be done from reading some of your amazing journals. I am lucky in that I have no health problems YET but I know it is only a matter of time before my health begins to suffer. That is why today is a new beginning for me.
I am so sorry if I have mislead any of you in the past. Before now I just didn't have the courage to admit to my problem. Part of me feels that because I don't have any weight to lose, I shouldn't be a member of this programme, the other part acknowledges that I have weight related issues that need addressing.
I just want to thank you all for your support to date and I know I can rely on you in the months to come. xox

Today I am feeling fantastic. My sister and I went on a Religious Retreat at the weekend. It involved fasting from 12pm on the Thursday night then going to the Retreat on Friday morning. As soon as your arrive, you remove all footwear including socks! While there alot of prayers are said and you can have one meal per day consisting of dry toast, oatcakes or brown bread and black tea or coffee, You can have unlimited water. Also on the first you do not go to sleep. On this Retreat everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you are a millionaire or poor. Initially when I agreed to go, I thought it was a crazy idea and I honestly thought I would not be able to survive for the two days especially as I love my food! But it is amazing how little you can live on. Yes, at times we were very hungry and tired but it was worth it. The sense of achievement after doing it is indescribable. No mobile phones or ipods are allowed so there are no distractions. It really makes you appreciate everything you have. It helps put things into perspective. Now that I've had this spiritual and physical detox, I intend to continue eating well and generally looking after myself. Hope you all have a wonderful week! xo

Not feeling so good today - but it's my own fault. Ate far too much chocolate last night. I know why I did it - I am very stressed at the moment due to work so I need to learn how to deal with stress a better way than reaching for chocolate. The way I feel today I don't think I'll ever eat the stuff again. Somethimes I despair that I am never going to beat this chocolate/sugar addiction. Sorry for the negativity today. xo

Didn't blog much last week as one of my best friends lost her dear husband aged 49 to a massive heart attack. I met with her over the weekend and while she clearly is devastated by the loss of him, she continually spoke about how Thankful she was .. THANKFUL to have had 31 wonderful years with him, THANKFUL to have 2 fantastic children, THANKFUL that she has a great family, THANKFUL to have such brilliant friends, THANKFUL that she has her house, THANKFUL that she has her car and so on. I was absolutely blown away by her positivity. It got me thinking that every day we should count our blessings. Over the weekend I have realised that I have so much to be thankful for too.

On a completely different note I just want to say what a mind blowing e-mail this morning! Never thought of chocolate in those terms. Well now I know what to do! My relationship with chocolate has to end completely. I know that giving in to chocolate is a bit like holding on to a relationship that is no good for you. I appreciate it will be hard to let go completely but it will be better for me in the long term. Hope you all have a good week. Keep eating slowly and drinking that water! xox

Hi Everyone

Really looking forward to this new challenge. I have listened to the Eating Slowly Tool. I have decided give the 21 day videos a break at the moment as I have been through them so many times! However I shall put all my efforts into perfecting Tool 1 and shall totally cut out chocolate too. That in itself will be a challenge for me! I shall continue with my exercise and drinking the water which has become second nature now! Have a good day! xo

Hi Everyone

Just back from holidays at the weekend. Food choices were ok and I managed to fit some exercise in too. However when I came home from holidays things went a bit pear-shaped, especially regarding food choices. And like Mandie I just couldn't be arsed to eat healthily or generally do anything for a few days. Then when I tried to log on I discovered my membership had expired! I have taken the last couple of days to think about renewing my membership and have decided that I'm not ready to fly the nest yet, so here I am! Thinking back on the last 6 months, I know I have changed alot of things but my challenge for the next 6 months is to beat the chocolate once and for all! Anyone who has been following my progress will know that this is quite a challenge for me! Also looking forward to Pete's New challenge - whatever it is! Hope you are all doing well. Will try to catch up on all the blogs later xo

Just to let you all know that I will be away until 19 July. We are going to our mobile home by the seaside. Looking forward to chilling out a little as it has been a difficult year mainly because of work. I am packing my trainers so that I can get plenty of walking fitted in and intend to stick to the programme as best as I can as I won't have any access to the internet until I get back.
Hope you all have a good week and look forward to catching up with the blogs on my return! xo

I'm ready to start again! I have read through some of my previous blogs and want to get back to where I was then. This past couple of weeks have been a struggle. Chocolate has become part of my life again. I really feel that I am addicted to it! Following advice from my local Heath Food Store, I have purchased Chromium Tablets as these are supposed to help balance sugar levels. I'll let you know how I get on with these. I now am completely cutting out processed foods from my diet and particularly those containing sugar to see if that will help. I'm feeling quite down at the moment and I'm not sure if maybe I'm mildly depressed. That's another thing that I'll keep an eye on. For today, the tools I am using are Drinking 2 ltrs of water, No sugar or stimulants and 30 minutes of exercise. Hopefully these tools combined will make me feel better. Look forward to reading all your blogs. Hope you are all having a good day! xo

Sorry I have not blogged over the past few days but I've fallen off the wagon again since Friday. Finding things a little tough at the moment. Work not going as well as I would like. We had hoped to move house but it doesn't look like that is going to happen any time soon as the property market is not good at present. As a result I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself and have resorted to eating far too much chocolate which in turn has made me feel worse. I have however been reading your blogs and these have helped. In particular Sue's blog has made me realise that work and houses are not important! Our health is the most important thing and if I keep eating so much of this rubbish chocolate my health is going to suffer and I will only have MYSELF to blame. Only I can change my life. So enough is enough! Don't know if I should start again at Day 1 or continue with the rest of you guys. I think I will continue on as there are only 4 more days left unitl Day 1 again. I just need to start properly planning my meals, planning my day, planning where I go from here. I think it is important to plan even though my plans regarding the house move are not happening and that makes me frustrated! So sorry for ranting on but I feel better now that I have got this of my chest! Hope you are all having a good day! xoxo

Before I start, this is nothing about weight loss. It concerns my work life. At 16 I did my CSE's and obtained average grades. Part of the reason I may not have done as well as I could have was that my Dad was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer 2 months before I did my exams. At that time (which is around 24 years ago) no-one suggested that I could re-sit them. I then went to the local Further Education College and did 2 GCSE's which I passed. I also did a BTEC General Diploma in Business Studies which I passed. I have done a few basic courses since then, but nothing very challenging. I was lucky to secure employment and in later years, my husband and I set up our own Estate Agency Business and while I have 20+ years experience in Business Administration, I do not have a formal qualification as such.
With the economic downturn hitting, I now have more time to do some sort of course. There was an open night in our local college last night and I went in to enquire about a few courses. One of the courses that was recommended to me was IAM Level 4 Diploma in Administrative Management. This Course takes around 1.5 years to complete and then you can do IAM Level 5 Diploma which then can lead you to a degree. Part of me would like to do something like this. After all it's only a year and a half. The other part thinks, do I need to do this? I've got this far without it. Am I intelligent enough to do it? Will I have enough time to do do it while juggling work and family as well? I know this is probably lack of confidence on my part or that duck quacking in my head! Any advice would be grateful.
Hope you are all having a good day! xo

Have taken today off work to do a good spring clean of my house so wont have much time to catch up on the blogs. Had a good weekend. Went out on Friday night with a group of friends and made good food choices. Didn't have dessert but had a white coffee instead. On Saturday I had a craving for chocolate but I kept repeating to myself 'I don't like chocolate, I don't like chocolate, I don't like chocolate and it worked!! Just goes to show you it is all in the mind! I didn't give in and felt much better for it as you all know I can't stop at one piece of chocolate.Yesterday for Father's Day we went out for our tea. I had a chicken caesar salad and only ate half of it and got the other half put in a container to take home so that's today's lunch sorted! Hope you all have a good day. Will try and catch up on the blogs later. xo