Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

I took my son to the bouldering wall on Saturday night where he had 2 hours of coaching with another 2 kids – he loved it. I had a rather relaxed session with my friend – including a long tea break, we both felt that we don't do anything slowly normally so it was really nice to pace ourselves. I didn't push myself too much really as I knew I needed to hold something back for the race on Sunday morning.
It was a lovely sunny day on the far side of Huddersfield, lovely to see the snow on the peaks still , it was freezing -4 when I set off but very bright. I have caught the sun ! ( and you aren't having it back). A tough race with dirty great hills in it – as the ground was frozen I would have been better off in my road shoes but hey – I did it and I got a reasonable time considering the little training I have done over the last 4 months. I really enjoyed being up at and at it in the sunshine – great!! I ate a huge amount afterwards in various meals –and then took my daughter swimming – my son demurred – both of them were ice skating this morning and he recognised that he was tired.
I've not been in great shape – I felt wiped out on Monday – I didn't hurt anywhere ( except my forearms but that's the climbing for you) . In a stinky mood until I came home on Tuesday night and unwrapped my new multisport helmet, got a new high score on Sean White road trip ( god that is hard work on the legs) and felt sooo much better after a run on Tuesday night. I don't know if it's down to a really hard run or if it's PMT. Probably both. And a combination of other stuff
I'm very bored at work – One of the things that was annoying me was how reactive it all is. I can't wait to start my new role. I have nothing in my diary for tomorrow and no task too and some people are annoyed that I have the audacity to leave. The way I see it - my work has to tick some boxes apart from money as there are so many other cool things I could be doing otherwise it's frustrating to have boring stuff or nothing to do..
It's not the best time for me financially – The MOT was done today – I bought two new tyres a couple of weeks ago, I also need to tax and insure the bike. Oh and I bought a week for both kids at Kingscamp to help keep them out of trouble at Easter. I think I'll have to eat lentils until June.
I'm very proud of my son – he's changed so much in the last two years and especially the last year. He really wants to get out there and grab things with both hands. Two years ago he couldn't swim and said to me “don't waste your money mum I'll never do it” He was awarded the 8th badge in Leeds City council swimming badge scheme yesterday. A total change around from then. I asked him if he wanted to keep on going after he attained the 10th and he said” I just want to keep doing it and getting bette”. He wants me to book him into bouldering more, he loves it . He watched the winter Olympics and loved the snowboarding and ski cross and wants to give it a go!! I really can't imagine him even expressing an interest in any thing back then. He still thinks his mum is completely mad though as but I'm a fairly happy mad mum so I don't care about that. I need to embarrass him in some shape or form as I'll fail my mum objectives otherwise.

I think I'm doing too much.

but how do you stop?

The washing still needs doing, so does the cooking. the dusting can sod off for most of the time - I need to make it worth my while after all.

There's so much to do and so little time!! I did sort out this weekend so it wasn't too busy!! Tomorrow I "only" have to take my son to swimming. Then I'm taking him to the climbing wall for his first 2 hour session 6->8pm because he is really up for it and at only £2 more for an extra hours tuition I would be a fool not to do it. I'm going there with my mate at the same time but won't be pushing myself as I have to conserve something for sunday...
I'll do the ironing and that sort of thing in the day. it's no big deal if I get it done I can have a quieter Sunday afternoon.
I'm doing the first Vets race on Sunday morning - so no lie in either day. My friend is taking the kids ice skating whilst I run.

I'm more stressed than I like - my work is so reactive at the moment - and both of us changing our jobs within days of each other really throws us up against each other and our partnership.
I won't be sure I've made the right decison for a few months - it takes that long for a change in my routine to really show what it's made of. I feel I've had to make a choice between easy routine for the family and unfulfilling work. Now things may be a bit harder as I should be doing work that is more challenging - more exposed in terms of profile and also a longer commute and will require organisation and for us to pull together as a family unit.

Guess I'll let you know in 3-4 months time if I've been a twit and should have take the easier but boring ride to a dead end instead.


Oh we are meant to be building raised beds this weekend - I can't see it happening - the hub needs to unwind between job moves and well I'm fairly busy but I bet we both beat each other up for not doing it... Next weekend looks manic too .... will we get a veg garden this year?

The headache didn't quite go away until today when I "snapped" and located a great big painkiller - I don't use them as a rule but when I do I use big 'uns.! I can't get to see the doctor until next week - but I guess I'm on my way for a MRI brain scan - I'm not worried though I know the chances of it being something very serious are slim as the effects are transitory.

I'm sleeping very heavily and don't want to wake up but the whoel light therapy thing appears to be helping - I haven't had a single "hit the snooze button until 9" moment this year.
Was annoyed last night as the hub did not come back home as he said he would and so I didn't get out for my planned run , postponed from Tuesday due to the illness issue. Still I got out today - as I left work last week I spoke to two women stretching outside the office and asked if I could run with them. I miss my friend and running partner a lot and hopefully we'll get to run togehter again in a month or so. but in the meantime I'll take whatever company I can get! It was good - on road which i don't like - give me mud any day!! We covered 7k in 50 minutes. My next jaunt out is the first vets race of the season on Sunday.

Other cool things - I had to take my birthday compression socks back as my calves are thinner than the sizing guide would indicate. Yep I'm in small! They seem to have helped - I ran hard today and my calves haven't tightened up as much as they normally do. We'll see how that goes.

My son is very pleased as I was flicking through sundays paper before I resigned myself to never getting around to reading it. he's now got a poster of K'naan which he's been after for ages. I'm very pleased that "waving flag " has been adopted for the World Cup. I find him inspirational - "Smile" and "Take a Minute" have helped to get me though many a bad moment over the past couple of years.

I found some photos of me at my wedding - I know this could be my form of postive body dysmorphia but I'd swear my face looks thinner now than it did then..

I've fallen in love with a skirt so I'm off out tomorrow to buy it - it makes a nice change to get something nice for me instead of my daughter. I deserve it - well even if I don't I'm having it!

Not doing bad - managed to squeeze some resistance exercise in last night after doing the ironing - I think my priorities are wrong and the exercise should come first but I need to get the board out of the way first and usually get sidetracked into domesticity ( yes really - me!)

Woke up with another migrane at 1 am 2, 2:30 3. 4 , 5 and 6. Made an appointment with the doctor for next week. Why am I suddently getting them at 43? Why doesn't my head hurt and I only get the visual nonsense... had unexpected help in the morning as my fell running friend dropped in at my place after his morning swim ad helped me get my kids breakfasted. This meant I managed to pack a lunch of organic Waldorf salad. Felt like death warmed up most of the day. Ate my salad and had some fruit.

I had a stomach upset all afternoon - got my exercise in running to the loo and walking to the water cooler.

Not fit enough to do much tonight except sleep.

Oh and I got the job ( internal one) and I think I might get to take this one..... Hoorah!

I'm off to bed now.

Well folks I'm 43 today – I think I've been telling people I'm 44 this year but this might just be a sign of senility... As it is I know the yearometer has clicked over once more.

There was a messy explosion yesterday in my house – unfortunately I blew a gasket, too many things were going wrong at once and it was all a bit too much. We all rallied around and cut a new one for me – greased with plenty of hugs and I'm back on the road again. It was a classic “one straw too many moment”. The hub is pretty useless at first aiding these things through, he tells me what I have done wrong rather than ask what is wrong. The kids are great though.

I've been packing in too much recently - I knew things were getting out of hand when I looked at my sons Diary for half term last week and realised that he was doing far too much and needed to get bored at some point in time. It would help if I could resolve an underlying sense of frustration about my current work situation. There were a couple of incidents last week that really annoyed me- I was patronised by a two different co-workers on two different occasions – I then found out that one of them who is the same grade as me has managed to get herself promoted during the role mapping thing that is underway. I'm sorry to say that this kind of crap has been tunnelling away at my self confidence for nearly a year now and I'm soo fed up of it. A lot of it stems from the decision that I couldn't work on a certain project because I have kids and couldn't handle the travel all of 9 months ago ( not that I was asked at the time) . Ironically they have people who can't drive on the project instead. Go figure.

A ray of light was shone into my dark tunnel by an agency phoning me about a contract job only to have that taken away when the idiots realised that they were offering me a contract with my current employer – somehow they thought I was out of work?! Well at least it made me laugh!

So I'm sorry to say that I have been battling away at the mood swings and as B'day is here I find myself 6 pounds down on my Xmas weight but back up from where I was a month ago.

In many respects it doesn't matter too much to me. I've finally got back into the swing of fitting my training in and have just signed up for the Leeds Half in May. I'm faster and stronger than I was 12 weeks ago – I value my body for what it can do rather than for what it weighs and that pesky duck has stopped talking to me about that ( but I wish it would shut the duck up about the work stuff). A whole year ago I couldn't do a “proper” sit up - I can do lots now and I'm in double figures for my pushups ( chaps pushups not girly ones) . I now have some muscle in my pelvic region at the front and my SI joint is pretty darn stable. I don't drink during the week as a rule and not because I am “not allowed to “ or because “ I really shouldn't because it will stop me from losing weight” but because I don't like the way it makes me feel when I do. I don't eat crap because I don't like the results on my energy levels and my skin – not because I am “being good” ( I hate that expression but I'm in danger of ranting if I say much more) I am making progress at things - despite it all seeming to be rather slow at times. I need to have a good objective look at what I am doing and what I need to tweak to get me where I want to be.

Last night the hub found some photos on his laptop of us on holiday in France three years ago – he said “look how fat you are in that photo” ( you have to remember he's a Yorkshireman – Geoffrey Boycott can appear sensitive next to him at times!) I was probably only 7 pounds more than I am now – but boy I looked far more than that.

It's felt a bit of a struggle the last couple of days – you know this whole “life” thing. Looking back I've been a bit too busy really and not much calm involved and I think it's a combination of tiredness, work stress and frustration at the weather!
Work is completely manic – very reactive – very little planning going on and it all feels out of control as a result. I've got the secondment that I applied for and I should be very pleased as it's a good move career wise but i am aware that it will be a push to do the extra travel and it's a change to my carefully engineered teetering balance. The other thing is that they still need to scope the work so it's not a complete definite and I'm not happy about starting on something that currently appears to be poorly defined with an unclear remit. I get unsettled every time the hub moves job too. He starts at the new place in Mid March.
There's also an undercurrent of upset about the situation in my family right now which is difficult – however we are agreed that we can't make the situation any worse for the person caught in the middle and we hope it will pan out. I find it hard to see my kids disappointed though.
The kids are adjusting to being back at school – up too late at night and a pain in the bum to get out in the morning but we should be there by the end of the week just in time for Saturday!!
Also I spotted I need new tyres in place before the cars MOT in a couple of weeks. It would explain why it isn't handling well in snow and I'm sorting it but I'm finding myself procrastinating on spending on essential things as I'm feeling nervous about money in general. Anyway i reckon they are still legal and it's booked in on Saturday.

Pete's reminder to do the questionnaire just popped up – I'll do it tomorrow – It will be the first with my new found height – making me heavier than ever in many respects. In the meantime I'm getting back on top of things – dinner is pretty much made – I'm going out tonight to try a place recommended to me. It will be good to have some non-work, non-family related company. Anyway I need to sort out the coin trap on the washing machine now and tackle the dodgy dishwasher after that.
Onwards and upwards!

Back at home after a fairly busy set of days.
The biggest thing I think for me was finding that I've lost 3cm in height – now for some reason this is a big deal for me – possibly as it makes me less slim than I was before ?! Anyway I guess I can say goodbye to that target of getting a BMI under 30 by my birthday as my calculations were probably all wrong in the first place. I mentioned it to my brother and he said that hardly anyone he fits for bikes is the height they think they are. He says people often say that they need a certain frame size and he look at them and thinks no you don't. He said he was only 5' 10” now ( he used to be 6ft). The other thing was that my weight appears to have stagnated again (I know get off those scales but it was as part of my biomechanical assessment at my podiatrist so I could hardly refuse).
Oh stuff it! The facts are that you can now see some definition in my upper arms as well as my lower arms, not much else has changed though my husband did say tonight that my butt was smaller than he remembered. Not sure what that says about either of us really.
I did manage to get two runs in whilst I was at my parents– the second one was on Sunday in sleet – I was frozen afterwards. I did some resistance work on Saturday – to tell the truth I was still feeling it from Tuesdays climb until Saturday. Not that I mind I'm still so pleased that I managed an overhang problem – it just takes a long time to recover these days.
The kids are back at school tomorrow and I'm back at that flaming mad house called work – I'm not looking forward to it as it's been really intense recently and given me a great deal more stress than the amount I get paid for ( if you see what I mean). I'm pretty sure that this is the thing that is preventing me from getting closer to my goals right now.

If any of you were unfortunate enough to spend time in my head today you would have come out exhausted - not because I was giving myself a hard time - other things weren't helping...
Took DS to Hospital today and then worked from home which was completely flaming manic - somehow I managed to knock together a Goulash int he slow cooker for tonight whilst on the phone ( BTW have any
of you seen the videos of mobile phones making popcorn pop? pretty scary now I have one near to my ear almost on a pemanent basis)
I had to look after my own children this afternoon which seemed a real imposition! So I took them both to the bouldering wall for a couple of hour togheter with my liftshare friend and her son. I was happy as suddenly after lunch my fingers stopped being swollen. I am so happy because I managed to complete my first ever overhang problem at V1-V2. I could hardly move straight afterwards though.
Got back to dinner being ready and I made pancakes for everyone afterwards.
I've got another day from hell lined up tomorrow at work until mid afternoon and then I'm taking the Kids to the Media Museum to see Ponyo.- but right now I'm skiving from packing for us all as I have family trip to the Podiatrist in Stoke on Trent - mums coming up from Suffolk for it and then I'm driving her back down and staying for a few days.
In all honesty I feel like I am on a treadmill and can only jump to the side for a bit of a rest - just hope this slows down before I hit the red button.
Anyway I'm well chuffed at my climbing exploits and think I'm doing a damn good job of holding it all together.
Tootlepip
Kat

I feel yuk
The house is a tip again and I can't see when I will get the time to put things right with my workload.
The PMT monster has inflated my hands and boobs and doubtless other places too. It's been over a week now since the fingers turned to sausages it must end soon! I don't think I'll be able to get my rings off when I go climbing next.
Last night I got ready for the benefit gig and nearly everything I tried on made me look like a bolster tied in the middle or a sack of spuds.
I drank three pints last night – I had to stand for 4 hours.
I felt so tired this morning
I really struggled getting up the hill on my run this afternoon
I'm cooking Lasagne for tea because I've been blackmailed into it my by son.
I don't feel that I am doing enough to shift this tummy but can't see how I could have done anymore.

I feel great
Despite having a very stressful week at work I've come through it with flying colours. It looks like I made a good stab at my application having been contacted on the closing date itself by the recruiter. I've talked though with the hub and he thinks I should go for it too. Last time I applied for a job in this town I worked out that I would lose £130 a month in fuel and parking they refused to cough up so I turned it down I spent some time checking out the travel options as will lose 40 minutes a day extra. I think the train is an option which will give me back some “me” time. It's do-able.
I wore a skirt and boots out last night and 5 people said I looked stunning. The place was packed to the Rafters. £1000 was raised for Cancer Research and Thrombosis Society. The guy the benefit was for looked happy and in a good place despite his recent double hip op and terminal cancer.
I had water in between each pint and we left early.
I laughed my socks off at the Cinema this morning with the kids – it was worth giving up my lie-in for.
I found I was tired this afternoon and relaxed later in my run only to find I was really fast again.
My Bechamel sauce is a wonder –I infused the milk before making it and it is fabulous!
I did 2 hours of running this week – plus 1 and quarter hours of climbing. And one weights workout. I'm almost back at my target activity times – not bad for winter!

Blinking mood swings eh?

I am knackered.

Today is the closing date for the post I applied for at 10:20 pm yesterday. I got an email from the recruiter wanting to chat with me at 4:30 but as I would be dressing my daughter after here swimming lesson I did not consider it to be auspicious.
Apparently my efforts were mentioned in despatches this week. and my boss said he owed me a bottle of wine but seeing as he still owes me some from 6 years ago I might be waiting for a while . He actually asked me if I would like one bottle or two - I mean even for a reformed character like me it's a no-brainer isn't it?! As long as it's drinkable as I don't drink rough stuff.
Sorry if this work stuff is dull -it's just taken up far too much of my time this week. It's not easy having two jobseekers inthe house either. ( both of us are employed jobseekers, lets remove the stigma from looking for a job shall we!)
Anwya I am cream crackered. sorry world I can't b the rough tough gall all the time - I'm haveing an early night.
Tomorrow the hub and I are going to a benefit do for a friend with terminal cancer. All a bit strange, his partner is my hubs ex partner and her best mate at school fancied my brother for about 4 years. My hub and I grew up 250 miles apart, how on earth he dated two girls from the same school in Suffolk I really don't know.. Both of them are lovely people and i hope we raise a lot of money and support for them both.

Despite having stuff to do over and beyond my eyeballs at work ( and at home too) I'm dealing with the stress - it's not getting to me.

I've accepted that I have not got support from the people in my team as their focus is elsewhere and I won't be dissappointed by not finding it there in the future because I am not looking for it there. I have it within myself.

I get pleasure from many small moments in the day. The wonderful view when I drove up a road I never went up before, the woman flagging me down to tell me that my hubcap fell off in a carpark a few minutes before, My children when I hug them when I pick them up. My sons off the wall sense of humour that makes my belly feel like it can't stop laughing.... My father told me something when I was quite young that it is these moments that make life worth living and that we should hold onto them as they are very important. I don't think he's wrong.

The application form is complete and sent in before the deadline day.

I ran tonight - not far but was surprised at how fast I was - I found myself running at what was my fastest pace last year. At this rate I might be good in about 8 years! I got out after a long day at work ( I logged on before breakfast 6:50am.... ) so I cannot beat myself up for not exercising because I have done the best that I could given the circumstances. I will put the effort in so I am back at my target of 3-3.5 hours of cardio a week in a weeks time - it's do-able. Besides I have a race at the end of March that I want to enter and yes there is home baking at the end ( and lambs that I can cuddle).
Take care of yourselves people and have a lovely Friday.

This week feels like a total and utter washout as far as getting moving - I write that and I realise that it's not strictly true - I did go bouldering it's just that I didn't do a thing yesterday and today my total exercise was walking to the shops after work and picking the kids up. Must move more tomorrow.

I feel totally unsuppoorted in my present role and the future is very bleak indeed. I am networking my applicaiton, sounding people out - they all say go for it. - it seems mad not to work with another business area for years and not use your contacts- so I am. Was stressed after shopping, so I decided to make buns before dinner. I had the usual one to make sure that they were edible without icing i might add. I tidy up the kitchen to find myself singing Oh Bla Di Oh Bla Da for some reason - thats a real blast from the past, I shrugged off the day and get on with stuff. Made a chickpea bake for dinner - kids hated it but ate the sweet potato and red cabbage.. We had pineapple aftewards, the others had ice cream not me..

Tomorrow is another long day - I am in workshops in the morning and I don't really know where I will be in the afternoon. Just gotta get through it. .

Was great to see everyone tonight in the online session. My hub was really funny he was beside me and behind me at one point listening in - he said he feels awkward and that he felt he should pull his tummy in whilst I've got the camera on! - felt really energised afterwards and cracked on with my application form - I can't leave it to the last minute.

Another busy day... Been at my desk or meetings from 9 til 5 - got 15 minutes for lunch.
I feel a bit frustrated that I haven't exercised tonight - It's a busy night with drop off and pick up for my daughter at 7 and I had to check both kids heads for blinking insects as I have fallen out of the sunday night habit ( not that this is actually a habit I don't get any gratification from it whatsoever) and have had letters about the presence of nits from both their classes. Oh and everyone had run out of socks which were waiting to be paired and put away. I am hurting in unusual places a bit from yesterdays bouldering session - must have pushed myself as I fell off twice! I don't think that my planned session of weights would be the best thing on top of that.
I finish my chores only to see that it is 10pm before I know it and I don't think it's the best idea to start then. I might force myself out in the morning but as I have to spend 20 minutes or so in front of the blue light everyday so I don't take a dive into the seas of desponds my options are fairly limited. I have to sleep sometime.
I am tired.
Another internal job application is on it's way - need to complete it before Friday morning.
At least I won't be scrabbling about for socks in the morning!

Mondays are never easy. We got out on time though - I packed my lunch and got to school not so late that my liftshare had given up on me.
Had a busy day at work - I'm not getting out at lunchtime although as the weather sucked I didn't really want to.
Was really really hacked off that 8 of my team members had been involved in a discussion that affected me and my workstream but hadn't had the grace to tell me. I didn't blow my top though but will have to have it out with people tomorrow. Got meetings all day tomorrow too - deep joy. Ran off to the bouldering wall to work it out - pretended that some of the holds were the ears of the people involved!
My hands hurt now

What a week, We've been having some problems with the network at home and I'm now on a new PC – which has already brought its own little issues into my life - so bigger and faster isn't always better!
I blogged on Monday but couldn't save it ( my old PC rather than petecohen.tv)– and what I said there was that actually unusually for a Monday I had a really good day- yeah I missed out on going climbing as the workshop took far longer than I thought and yes it wasn't a good thing that the bridge is out forcing me to take a 8 mile detour, but I coped. I had a lovely impromptu tea of exactly what I wanted aubergines, tamarind and chickpeas.
Tuesday felt mad – I had a total of 20 minutes in the office before I headed to London. Things were good though as I packed the meal I had the night before and took my flask of green tea and fruit so things were pretty much as normal. The night wasn't though - I haven't been out drinking for such a long time and although I drank far more than I have in recent weeks ( been averaging 2-3 units a week) I didn't over do it – I alternated soft drink and alcohol and as a result was fit as a butchers dog the next day.
The rest of the week was manic at work – The bridge and the fog conspired against me on Thursday maing me really, bad mum late, to pick the kids up from the afterschool club. This really sucks as it compresses the whole feeding time and was tough as I hadn't planned ahead. ( what makes it worse is that I had to blow out another bouldering date...) However I didn't go to the chippy – we had more healthy alternatives instead. Friday was crazy too – I took my daughter to her swimming lesson – had to leave as she had an accident on the pool side ( got soaked cuddling her). Then I took my son to the climbing wall – and a quick visit to the warehouse club to bulk buy stuff. Trouble with bulk buying is that it costs a lot though it's cheaper in the long run..... spent so much more than I thought I would AND I was economising – getting Grano Padano instead of parmesan ( well it is half the price)!
Yesterday wasn't so much better – I took my son to his swimming lesson and whilst he was in got the stuff that my husband forgot ! Then we went to the wildlife group where they made wallets and bird feeders from tetrapaks. I spent the afternoon tidying and attacking the ironing mountain so that it is now more like an ironing foothill. After I tidied up I did my strength training – I was meant to have a week off on the programme I have been following but it was almost two. Thing is I have been playing about with my newest toy, a TRX in that time because it's quite fun for something that makes you work that hard!. So I haven't been slacking strictly speaking just absent without leave. It was good to do something for me and to be honest that is how I prioritised all my time after lunch time – what would make me happy to have ticked off my list?
Today was a bit better as I got out after kicking my son out of the door ( going ice skating again!) and headed for the hill – I couldn't see very far at any point in time due to low cloud but it was still great to be out and about – even though it was very clarty underfoot. I really need to get out more mid week. I've been out every Sunday for my long run over winter. I was beating myself up about it all but when I used the runners world coach thing it seemed to be saying that I shoudl only be doing 2 miles 3 times a week at first – the problem is I do 6 in one day and not a huge amount inbetween – although I have been doing my strength training. T o be honest I miss my running partner and so many people say that they will come out with me but they never ring! I really wanted to go out on my bicycle this weekend but the weather was horrid.
The other things are that my husband had been in some other place mentally this week – he's job hunting as there have been rumours about cash flow at work. ( well it's more than rumours). Oh and my finances are in a perilious state but at least I can pull them back with some focus ( like not bulk buying when IT IS a rainy day!)
All in all I'm happy – I've got three weeks to go to the end of this experiment of mine and I will give it all I have got to do the things I want to be doing – 3-3.5 hours of cardio a week is lacking at the moment and I really need to put some Oomph there! I hope this week is a bit more structured work wise and that I do get to go bouldering tomorrow night!