Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

I've decided to restart the 21 day programme to keep me focused. I'm going to be concentrating on exercise and blogging regularly.

Today's video on wobbles was a good reminder for me not to get thrown off course by stress. My natural reaction is to comfort eat - which doesn't help me at all. The last month has had lots of stress through work and family illness and I know that I've lost some focus and motivation as a result. My niece's illness is a reminder that I need to look after myself and stop abusing my body through overeating and inactivity. I want to be healthy and fit and lose 50 pounds by my 50th birthday and I'm going to do it.

The news on my niece is sounding more positive. Although there's no definite diagnosis yet, they are pretty sure it's an infection. She had a biopsy yesterday and we're waiting for the results, which could take up to 9 days. She is doing really well and feels good so that is very encouraging. She is coping well with a frightening situation.

If she can cope with that, then I can definitely lose 50 pounds by November 9th. So when I see her at Christmas I will be slimmer, fitter, healthier Auntie Janet.

Today has been a very upsetting day that is really going to test my ability to manage wobbles and keep positive. My sister called this morning to say that my niece Eloise is in hospital. She had a seizure yesterday evening and they called an ambulance as it was totally unexpected. She had a scan and there's a swelling on her brain. They will have to do more tests before they know exactly what it is but a possible cause is a brain tumour. Eloise is only 16 and I can't bear to think of her being unwell. We're all shocked and so upset but trying to be positive and optimistic. It's even more difficult as they live in Canada so it feels like they are just so far away. I'm getting very upset writing this but one thing I have learned in the last few months is how blogging can really help, particularly at difficult times.

I've been very bad for not blogging - have been finding the last couple of weeks quite hard going and am not used to sharing my woes with the world so haven't felt like blogging it all out (I am a pretty positive person and never feel comfortable about inflicting negativity on other people - which probably means I bottle it up inside for longer...).

Anyway, feeling more positive after joining the online girls on Tuesday evening. Just received a parcel from Teapigs (great herbal teas) which included organic matcha. They describe it as ground super power green tea that is extremely high in antioxidants and is supposed to boost your metabolism. So that in combination with more exercise should help me get slimmer, fitter and healthier. I'll let you know how it goes!

I've been quite active in the last few days, although not doing quite as much exercise sessions as I ought to - work and socialising seem to get in the way. Have restarted the food diary as my eating has slipped since I stopped - I think I got over-confident. It is frustrating how I felt so in control and then suddenly feel like it's all really hard work - I don't know why that's changed or what actually happened. Work has been quite stressful so that may be why I've found it harder to relax and make time for me.

Going to see Legally Blonde this evening - should be good fun and help with the relaxing. Will blog again tomorrow - feel better for doing this one.

Not sure why it's taken me quite so long to blog after the online course - Pete's approach was a good one for me and gave me a kick to make sure I'm on the right track.

I think I'm doing quite well at accepting myself - there are certain occasions when I don't and I need to observe these to work out when and why they happen. The biggest struggle that I have is with exercise so I am focusing entirely on exercise and being active for the 3 weeks until the next online session. I have restarted the programme and am following it through, using the activity tools.

My specific goals for the 3 weeks are:
Repeat the 21 day programme
Do at least 9 Wii fit sessions
Go to the gym at least 3 times
Do an exercise DVD at least 6 times
Walk for 30 minutes at least twice a week

I did a Wii fit session yesterday, and a 90 minute walk this afternoon. Felt really good after the walk - must remember that feeling to inspire me for the next exercise session!

Had a very busy weekend and ended up feeling really unwell Sunday night with aching body and a headache and the start of a cold. Have been at home the last 2 days and this afternoon starting to feel better so hoping I'll be well tomorrow.

Have had a few wobbles in the past five days but haven't let them get the better of me. This afternoon I've been watching some of the resource videos on motivation and have redone the goal setting workshop on weightlossguru. I found it very helpful to redo my goals. It's made me clear about where I'm heading, and that I am making good progress. I found that more of my goals are now around exercise, activity and being healthy rather then being slimmer and losing weight. Although I want to be slimmer, I can see that the benefits I will gain will come from feeling fit and healthy. I think this is a positive shift and means that I'm getting less obsessed by what the scales say.

I've missed blogging for the last few days so am looking forward to reading other blogs and reconnecting with everyone.

Time to go and do a Wii Fit session before tonight's online course!

Feeling much more positive today and trying to put all the difficulties of work behind me. Was out of the office yesterday hearing a lawyer talk about copyright (much more interesting than that sounds!) and was delighted to find an old colleague there. It was great to catch up.

Went to see Priscilla, Queen of the Desert in the evening - it's great fun with fantastic music. The song "I Will Survive" struck a chord:

I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive, I will survive

Very uplifting - and puts work into perspective!

Did loads of walking yesterday when I was in Central London so do feel really alive with lots of energy. Tried on some trousers in my usual size and found they're too big! Have now lost 7 pounds since the beginning of January - the 50 by 50 goal is in sight! Feeling like I am becoming slimmer. fitter and healthier - and it feels great.

This week is turning into a really depressing and upsetting one. Work continues to be hard going - now with an added twist in a long-running saga with one of my team who is unhelpful and difficult for everyone to work with, but doesn't have any awareness of this. Found out today that this person had complained to my manager with a list of issues, most of which are imaginary. Luckily my manager is well aware of the situation and supported me but it's not going to be easy handling all this. This is all on top of all the stuff that happened on Monday - and still awaiting the outcome of a possible reorganisation which could change the scope of my job. It is all very stressful and I'm determined to keep on focusing on the programme to see me through.

So how did I deal with all this? I managed to do a supermarket shop without buying any chocolates, cakes or biscuits. I was pleased that I stayed to my planned list and didn't get carried away buying things I didn't need. I did have a glass of wine as I really felt I needed it.

I have noticed that my energy levels this week have been low and I've felt really tired. I've been feeling very emotional because of everything that's going on at work - so I have learned that being emotional makes me low in energy. Not quite sure what to do with that information but it'll be useful sometime I expect.

Tomorrow I'm at a meeting in central London so it'll be good to get out of the office and away from things. Going to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert in the evening - that should really cheer me up!

Back to day 1 today - and a good reminder to take things one step at a time.

Time to take stock and assess how well I've done on the 21 day programme. I think I deserve 6/10. I've done well to follow the programme, watching the videos, making notes and doing the exercises. I've blogged frequently and know what my goals are and what I'm aiming for. I've done very well on having a healthier diet, drinking lots of water and eating slowly. I need to improve on being active and doing regular exercise.

I have done well at being positive and shutting the duck up. I have also been giving myself credit for doing well.

The last week or so has been tougher. Partly because I've had to travel with work and have been in lots of situations where I've had less control over the choices I can make with food. Last week I managed pretty well but this week's trip was more challenging. I ate out a lot over the weekend and felt like staying in control was becoming more difficult. Yesterday was a very stressful day at work with 2 senior members of our department "resigning" - we don't really know what happened or why but as one of them was the head of the department it is really unsettling and I've been feeling very emotional ever since it was announced. Feeling emotional is a massive trigger for eating and so the last 36 hours I've given in to comforting myself through food (and a very nice G+T on the plane home this evening).

It's going to be good to restart the programme at Day 1 again tomorrow and get myself refocused. I'm going to concentrate on the activity tools and make sure I get more exercise. I need to get back in control because it's likely to be unsettling at work for several more weeks as a project run by management consultants gets completed and my role could get changed. As I can't control the changes at work, I should focus myself on what I can control - being slimmer, fitter and healthier.

I am finding the online course so helpful - I benefit from the weekly contacts which keep my on track. It is great to see and hear Pete live and to see all the other people who I feel I know from their blogs. I'm probably going to sign up for the March sessions as it will really help me to continue making progress.

I'm going to celebrate what I've achieved by having a relaxing soak in the bath!

It seems to have been a busy week, travelling always throws me off balance, so it's a relief to get to Friday evening and a chance to catch up. Even though I have felt a bit less in control I am pleased that I have kept to eating sensibly and have been able to resist chocolate. Definitely deserve a pat on the back.

I am determined to keep making time for myself and giving myself space to keep up with the programme and writing a diary, and blogging. I'm continuing to keep my food diary - I do find it is keeping me focused.

It really is the exercise side of things that I have to focus on - I get so annoyed with myself for putting off doing it. I do seem to have a real mental block about exercise that I've got to get over. This weekend is a good opportunity to be active, without the excuse of work getting in the way. My outcomes for the weekend are to do a Wii session each day, to walk for 30 minutes each day and to go to the gym.

Woke early so watched today's video to set me up for the day. Most of the triggers that Pete mentioned are ones for me - no wonder I'm overweight!

Started thinking about alternative activities I can do when I get an urge to eat but I'm not hungry:

Listen to music
Read a book
Plan a holiday - look at brochures
Do Wii fit
Go for a walk
Give myself a facial
Have a bath
Read a magazine
Play the piano
Play the clarinet
Do some gardening
Blog
Do an exercise DVD
Go shopping
Phone a friend

There's no excuse really!

Had a frustrating time on the live online course with access problems so missed about 30 minutes but I heard the last 20 minutes clearly and got the main messages. It'll be interesting tracking activity levels each day - I know that a lot of my time is spent sitting down!

Very early start to catch a 7.20am flight to Frankfurt, where I'm at an airport hotel for 2 days of meetings. Travelling for work really isn't glamorous!

I was quite concerned about how I'd manage eating and drinking when I have little control over what's available. It's not been one of my greatest days but actually I've done pretty well - and most importantly I haven't done what I always used to do and give up all control and use it as an excuse to eat anything I fancied (including the mini bar!). Today I've eaten lots of vegetables and fresh fruit and had plenty of water. I've also avoided some very nice looking desserts!

I was also thinking that I'd have no exercise but I forgot how much walking you do in airports - I must have done at least an hour's walking altogether.

Just watched the coaching video - and had my glass of water handy to drink along with Pete. Ready for the live online course in an hour's time!

A busy day and eating times have been a bit strange, although I've managed to eat pretty sensibly. I don't seem to be eating as much as I used to - I'm feeling much more in touch with hunger feelings and less prone to cravings (helped by the fact that I don't have very much in the house that would fulfil the cravings anyway). I also really like drinking water now - I used to find that I was wanting flavoured drinks but seem to have adapted my tastebuds. It's very interesting how you adapt to changes if you give it long enough and don't give in to slipping back into old habits.

Just back from Pilates, I really enjoy the classes and am starting to recognise how I'm more flexible and stronger than I used to be. It's great to feel the benefit - I must be getting fitter!

Travelling tomorrow to Frankfurt so have a horribly early flight out of Heathrow - but I'll be joining the live online course in the evening so see many of you then!

Just back from a walk round Ruislip Lido, it's such a lovely afternoon that it was a pleasure to be outside. Had a good lunch of salmon and vegetables before so I'm feeling very healthy today.

The Day 11 and 12 coaching videos have made me think about ways of choosing healthy foods and fresh ingredients. Asking myself "do I want this enough to wear it" does help me avoid chocolate, cakes and biscuits. I need to use more recipes to make sure I have more variety in what I eat, and to keep meals tasty and interesting.

Out soon to the cinema to see Up in the Air (with gorgeous George Clooney) - will make sure I just stick to drinking water.

Had a mixed day with computers yesterday. My PC's hard disc pretty much died so is having to be replaced (luckily I had a back-up of all my documents, photos and music) - that explains why it had become so slow that it was unusable. On the plus side, I'd ordered a laptop which arrived yesterday morning so I've been able to set it up and am in full communication again! The laptop has a built-in webcam so I should be fine for Tuesday's evenings live session now.

Last night's Burns night do was great fun - lovely dinner with haggis, neeps and tatties plus all the speeches. Then a couple of hours of Scottish dancing - so I was definitely as active as possible! I'm sure I must have danced off the dinner and wine...

I gave myself 7 out of 10 when I was listening to yesterday's coaching video. I know that I'm doing really well on the eating, goal-setting, positive thinking side of things - the duck is pretty quiet too. What I really have to focus on is doing regular exercise so I'm only going to choose the exercise-related tools for a while.

Good day today although probably too much sitting down while I've been setting up the laptop and synching iPod and iPhone. Off out to the National Theatre to see the lovely Alex Jennings in Alan Bennett's new play, The Habit of Art.

Just been watching today's coaching video and now feeling very chilled after doing all that deep breathing. Followed it up with the relaxation mp3 so I'm also refreshed and calm. I found the picture of the future me was clearer than it's been before, so I could feel what it was like to be inside my future body - and it felt good! I must listen to the relaxation mp3 more often so I can fix that future picture in my head.

I'm also going to work on developing my alter ego, Jan. I've been inspired by Ros's blogs about Rose and think she's on to a very good idea. Jan is slim, fit and healthy; she eats for nourishment not for comfort; she enjoys exercise and is full of energy. If I copy what she does, I'll become fitter, slimmer and healthier.

Had breakfast again this morning, an Innocent veg pot for lunch and a lovely dinner - I bought a sea bass fillet at the wet fish counter in Waitrose and had it with mixed green vegetables. I do feel a lot better after a couple of weeks of healthier eating - less bloated, more settled stomach and more alert. I've also been sleeping really well. And I love drinking water! I feel like I'm developing some good habits to replace the old ones.

Tomorrow is exercise day - I'll be working at home so I'm going to have short Wii breaks to build in some exercise. In the evening I'm going to a Burns night dinner with lots of Scottish dancing afterwards so I really will be active.