Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

Thanks for the supportive comments yesterday!

I am feeling much better today, my friend posted some pictures fro years ago on Facebook and I look good. No where near ideal but so much better than where I am now so my goal is to make it back to that place first before I try and go all the way. I am much more focused and have planned my weeks worth of meals and snacks for the week already. Its so worth it and I am worth it!!!!

Hi All

I have been a bit quiet lately as I have not felt like I had anything to say, I have been in a bit of denial and had a laspe, but still kidding myself but I have realised that I cant just talk the talk, I need to walk the walk as well! So I have reset the 21 days to where I left off (about day 13) to start on monday morning. I am writing down EVERYTHING I eat and am going to continue with being more active and am also going to pick back up eating slowly this week as its the unconciuos eating that adds up. Whats the point of dowing a box of cookies if you don't even remember, let alone enjoy the experience?

I was going to go for a walk today but think I will dust off an old Elle Macpherson video instead and stay in doors. Every time I seem to go out these days I spend money I dont have!

OK, so this week I am going to use the the being as active a possible tool.

Ways I can do this are:
Picking up the pace on my walk to work, try to catch up and pass people walking ahead of me.
Take that stairs once at work - only 4 floors
Go for a walk at lunchtime around the block and take the stairs back up
Take a longer route on my walk home and try to include a hill
Get up to the printer everytine I print off a page rather than waiting untill I have done a few
Be more active around the house in the evening doing chores rather than leaving them until the weekend.

Hopefully this will also stop me from clock watching and thinking about food the whole day at work. Am also starting a fresh with nil sugar. I have reached out to some friends as well and worked out my finances so I can be more socialable and not sit at home every evening thinking about food.

Yet another wobble, triggered again by sugar.

Well why did I have the sugar? This week I have been focusing on not having any sugar as it is a real problem for me. I dont really know I have feeling feeling a bit low this week. I am running low on cash and living for the next paycheck - only 5 days to go. I have also been feeling lonely and not liking my job and tuned to sugar - why???? It is just what I have always done.

So what could I do differently?
I need to come up with some coping strategies

I am so bored at work! So I focus on my next meal. Today started with porridge with cinnamon and soya yoghurt. I had a handful of almonds and an apple for a mid morning snack than a baked potato with tuna and red onion for lunch. Fortunately I didnt have anough money on me for extras at lunchtime. If the afternoon I had a banana and an orange. Dinner + Soup and toast and a pear. Thats a lot of food but mainly good I think. Am staring at the celebrartions that have reappeared and fighting that duck.

Oh at lunch time I also picked up a little duck key chain, it quacks when you press a little button on the side, so that will be a good reminder for me to have around :- )

I have been inspired by all of the ladies talking about running so I have decided to jog a 5k this year. I think race for life is in June/July so plenty of time to get the fitness up for that. I am not a fan of running but the thought of training outdoors (once the evenings get longer) is appealing. I have always wanted to do a 5k so this year will be my year.

I have decided on another goal, I am always wary of setting goals as I so often don't achieve them but now I feel like I can make it happen... so I would like to be under 90kg by my birthday in August. I think the last time I was that weight I was in High School so bring it on.

Arghh thats scary seeeing it in black and white, but thats it now its out there and I can do it!

That is my tool for this week, it one of the one I struggle with the most.

I had another wobble yesterday. All of my wobbles seem to be triggered by sugar so getting handle on this is really important. I did balance it out with doing my pilates DVD and a 1 & 1/2 hour walk.

To borrow the butterfly analogy I feel like I am just finishing the caterpillar stage muching my way through everything in sight and moving onto my coccoon stage where the transformation will take place for me to emerge a beautiful butterfly at the end of the process.

It is so much easier to use the eat when hungry tool on the weekends.

I woke up and had a good breakfast of scrambled eggs and 3 oatcakes as I knew I was heading into town for the morning and would need to feel full for a while. I also took a bottle of water and an apple with me just in case, however I didnt fell hungry until about 2 pm! By this time at work I would have had a morning snack and my lunch. Due to my late lunch I was not really hungry in the evening so had soup and toast and a yoghurt. I have also stocked up on some almonds for a fulling snack when I am having trouble riding the craving for chocolate.

Am feeling more mentally focused than I have in a couple of weeks. Am going to listen to the R&T track too tonight before bed.

Finally my hormaones are balancing out and I didnt feel like eating all day today, was still pretty hungry when I got home from work and really struggled when I popped into the supermarket on the way home that duck was going crazy and I had another wobble! Next month I am going to be more prepared with healthy vege sticks, dried fruit and nuts to snack on so I dont turn to chocolate. Oh and my flamate has removed the celbrations from the coffee table - phew! Too tempting for me.

I have also started recording EVERYTHING I eat in a daily journal, I am leaving it out in full view as well and as I get myself under control there will be nothing to be ashamed of. I often eat in secret as if people don't see me eating it then it wont count...

Yesterday was not a great day I wobbled and had chocolate in the evening after a really good day at work, I also missed my Bodypump class as I had a really sore shoulder. I should have just gone to the gym and done a workout myself. I felt rubbish with an upset stomach which I still have this morning - too much sugar (I think I know my tool for next week already).

Today I am going to concentrate on eating only when hungry.

On a positive note (give myself some credit) I am a really good friend. I don't have a large group of friends but the ones I do have can really count on me and when I listen I hear how much I mean to them. Last night I had a really good chat with my best friend/neighbour from high shchool who now lives in America and that made feel better than any chocolate ever could!

I was very hungry when I finished work today, I came home and tried my trick of having a cup of miso soup to take the edge off while I prepared dinner, but then I put too much salt on my dinner and got thristy but confused it with hunger. I am now feeling uncomfortably full, oops. But we live and learn. Next time I will have drink before going back for a second helping of dinner wait 20 mins or so and then see if I am still feeling hungry.

Is it a cop out to blame it on hormones? I have really noticed a pattern and for about a week each month I feel like I could eat everything in sight, or the surpermerket when passing by. These are much stronger than my usual cravings and I find them hard to ride out. But at least its only one week in a month I guess.... Any tips???

This week I have been concentrating on the R&T tool, I did miss a couple of days, am still having trouble being consistent. I am going to try and keep it up as well as introducing the Eating only when hungry tool. I find this quite challenging as I eat automtically. I cant skip breakfast I have that as soon as I get up and usually have porridge it keep me fuller for longer. When I am at work I totally clock watch and about 10.30 am ready for a snack like fruit or oatcakes. I usually have my lunch at 12 as I work in a service centre and lunch has to be covered. So this week I am going to concentrate on my hunger scale before I eat and noy just eating cause it it time to et.

Consistency is the key...

...a lot

This week I am concentrating on using the R&T tool all week. I enjoy the journey but am having real problems with the visualisation. I have never been slim so can't imagine how I might look. I think that is what is holding me back being fat is safe and normal but its not healthy or comfortable. And when I get the slightest susscess I totally lapse back into my old ways through both fear and complacency. If only I could keep it up. Am striving to be more consistent. Am still being tempted by the leftover toffee at work when I was feeling upset but everything else is going OK so far. Tomorrow no toffee, as a sugaracholic its best not to even start.

I also have mother relationship issues but am still not sure how they or if they relate to my body image/ reaction to feeding my emotions but think I need to work through a lot of issues. Will keep blogging while I sort through these so be warned! My Mum and I get on quite well with me in Scotland and her in NZ, well at least she thinks we do...

I have had a really tough few days it was the memorial for my friends baby (who only lived for 6 hours) yesterday and some of my closest friends have not been in touch. I asked my Mum to keep me up to date and she has never once initiated contact or asked me how I am doing over here all by myself. In reality I have been really upset I have known my friend since I was 4 and just feel so sad for her. I am so glad I have all of you, thanks for all of your support!

I woke up today to a beautiful snowy morning, and an empty fridge so I strapped on my walking boots and ventured outside - for the first time in 3 days. It was lovely powdery snow and everything looked beautiful. I headed to the supermarket (after stopping to take some photos) and managed to get around wihtout doing what I usually do and buying myself a little treat. When I was tempeted I asked myself what my new charachter would do and in all cases walked away from temptation! YAY I just need to be conisitent with this behaviour.

I have really enjoyed my break from work and am not looking foward to going back tomorrow. I really need to start looking for something new but will work on myself first, one step at a time. This week I am going to concentrate on using the R&T tool every day.