Day 279 - Horrid Outside Happy Inside
What VILE weather!!!! But as hubs said this morning, we don't care what it's like out there as it's wonderful and happy in here!
Yup, I've sorted it all out in my head. I'm detaching from all this and going to cut away the cancour that is Mrs Angry (my mother) and just view her as an unfortunate, bitter old lady that lives next door to me and has to be helped now and again. I shall not be visiting like I did before and getting involved in her life as I simply cannot take the hurt she inflicts BUT I will be there if she needs me, I will be pleasant and continue to do the bits and pieces that we've always done. She's a tough old boot and doubt she'll notice that we've distanced ourselves and if she does then it may give her cause to reflect as to why (but I doubt it!)
The workshops last night really gave me perspective - this and my VERY little family are what make me happy. I have LOADS of very loyal friends who I have neglected recently in favour of all the traumas so I'm going to reconnect with them and get the love and support I need from them in future - mother never gave me anything but criticism, judgement and the occasional use of a car anyway so I'm not missing much!!
I have woken this morning and been aware of all the things I now DON'T have to tolerate and I'm starting to believe that my life is going to be better. I don't feel bad about thinking like this as she has repeatedly hurt me and my family and in her own words been utterly "evil" over the last few weeks. But no more will I open myself up and give her the opportunity to hurt me. It's done!
I slept without nightmares for the first time last night in a lovely freshly laundered bed and I've woken feeling like my old self again.
Apologies for all the negativity I've been blogging but after the online course tonight I should be back to my normal POSITIVE self.
There are only two loose ends to tie up and that's to collect some trousers from her house and to inform her of the production dates - she can make her own way there as my ex has previously taken her but obviously she's lost out on that one now! So I'm going to send my little one in to collect the trousers and give her the dates on a piece of paper and that will be all ties cut!
I've offered to feed her on xmas eve and it's up to her to let me know what she's going to do - I'm kinda hoping she goes away for xmas though - that would be better for everyone.
So on to today. For breakfast I'm having granola and yoghurt, for lunch I'm having Seranno ham on a bed of leaves with strips of very thin omlette on the top - a Jamie recipe I saw on the telly last week. For tea tonight we're having chicken and bacon risotto and I'm going to see if I can get hold of some asparagus to go in it with the sweetcorn and peas. Yum!
Got resistance training this morning, am going to do some reading this afternoon as my workshops tomorrow are fully prepped and then I have yoga after tea before the online workshop.
Bring it on - life is good (at last!) xx
Wow - What a wise hubby! and wow what a fantastic blog. This is soooo much more than a weight loss programme. I think doing this equips you over the months to turn around your thinking behaviours and start to take care of the most important person - us. When we focus on being the best we can be, it's like we realise that we don't actually need to suffer people who would do us or our loved ones harm in whatever form.
I feel for you having to go through this but it has made you stronger and refocus things for you and maybe that's no bad thing. Phil McGraw says " We teach people how to treat us" and it's amazing how quickly some people will start treating you better when you stop letting them treat you in any other way than kind and caring.
You are such a star. Look forward to "seeing" you tonight
Love
Shoana xx
You are always such a glowing beacon to the rest of us when you blog. We either feel for your traumas even if we have not experienced them exactly the same. I think there is always some dysfunctionality in families!
When you are positive we all want to come along for the ride.
You are truly lovely!
Love and Hugs
Earthmother xxx
I have been catching up with all the things going on with you and your family. I am glad your now in a happier place, families hey you can't choose them! I am very lucky and get on really well with both my parents and we all have a good relationship and your blogs have made me appreicate that all the more, so thanks for that. I don't think you need to apologise for the negative blogs, its how you felt and its good you feel you can blog it out.
I hope you have a lovely day. The weather here is awful, south east coast, very windy and grey, but sunny inside here too!!
Jane :0)
xxx